The Retail Rant – stupid questions and other woes from the world of retail

Welcome! To the first edition of the Retail Rant. As an introduction, my favourite episodes from past experiences will be added here. And with Christmas coming, more retail woes should be coming soon!!

1.

Me (behind an ice cream counter – the only flavour left in the freezer is one container of raspberry yogurt, bright pink): Can I help you?

Old man: I’ll have a scoop of vanilla, please.

2.

Other cashier: Gill, where’s Peru?

Me (in less than impressed tone of voice): In South America, what kind of question is that?

Customer: A question from two people who don’t know geometry!

3.

A frequent question that makes me wonder what people are thinking: Did bees make this honey?

*is there another option???

If you know anything about honey made from non-bees, please let me know.

Tune in next week for more retail rant!

Mid-day, mid-drunk mad libs

This morning I woke up at (time) and ate (noun) for breakfast. I (past tense verb) myself in (noun) and a t-shirt. I went to the (noun) to participate in a class about (noun). Then I went to the (noun) with some friends to (verb). Tomorrow, I am going to (verb) to school and likely do nothing.

My cat (past tense verb) on the couch, and i got (noun) all over my ass when I sat down to (verb) my (adjective) Super Mario game.

This winter break, there are (adjective) things I want to do. First, my (adjective) friend in the whole world is coming home from (noun-place in the word)! We are going to spend so much time (verb) and (verb)! My other friend, who (verb) to school in Hamilton is also coming home. The two of us will go to (noun) and eat (food item)! I hope I don’t spill any on my (body part).

I certainly hope you’ve enjoyed (verb) this game.

You are (adjective)!

Hello world!

I suppose I will keep with the title at hand, though I would prefer it read “Hello CRUEL world.” Oh well, you can’t win ’em all.

Welcome. I thank you kindly for taking time out of your busy schedules to read this.

I have little to say, besides that I discovered that Joan Baez and I share a common bond.

10 points to whoever can figure it out.

That’s it. Maybe one day I’ll write something interesting…